Change

Sometimes we crave a change, to get away somewhere, to get a new job, to live somewhere different. Other times we wake up to a realisation that our current habits or situation are not serving us well and we seek change for that reason. Sometimes change we did not invite happens, sending us into a spin. And sometimes change just creeps up on us and one day we realise that change has happened. It might be that such a realisation invites further change.

Of course, one thing is certain. Change will always happen. Even when we are stuck in a rut, it became a rut only because things were changing and perhaps we did not adjust to take account of those changes.

Today I am pondering the restlessness and desire for change that comes upon us.

The season changes. Warm weather gives way to cool. When the winter season began, did you find yourself in the clothing shop buying a new outfit? Why was that? Nothing to wear, but what about all those clothes from previous seasons? What was really driving it? Perhaps you perceive that the clothes from last winter are old-fashioned, or shabby. So how did that make you feel? What belief is underlying it?

What is a desire for change but a desire to fix that which feels broken, or to fill that which feels empty? Like the change that is yearned in these statements.

• I feel stiffness and pain and I want to be pain free.
• I am stressed and anxious and I want to relax.
• I need to lose weight and become fit.
• I am lonely and need to meet new people.

Perhaps it was a desire for change like this that first brought you to yoga.

Take a moment and jot down the things that you want to change .... and then sit a while and ask the question, if this change had already come to pass, how would I feel? Find the feeling in your body. Is there still a yearning or is it completely fulfilled?

This is a process that might help you to flush out your Heartfelt Desire, which we also sometimes call the deepest driving desire, Life's Purpose, or Heartfelt Mission. the Heartfelt Desire is like a beacon to guide us home to our inherent wholeness, where nothing feels broken, nothing needs to be fixed, and which is always full and fulfilled.

To close, you might wish to reflect upon the following words of Jean Klein. Jean Klein was a spiritual teacher and mentor to Dr Richard Miller, founder of iRest® Yoga Nidra. He said:

"Any desire is a search for Perfect Bliss. This perfect bliss is is part of the nature of the Self, therefore all desire is a desire for the Self."

Welcoming change

Welcoming is a quality of our True Nature. Welcoming is openness, it is loving and compassionate. Welcoming does not hold onto anything nor does it reject anything. It simply welcomes everything just as it is.

Welcoming is Presence, the act of being present to every moment just as it is.

When we welcome whatever is present we find that we are no longer held in the thrall of anything that is arising. Whatever is present is welcomed just for being here now. There is no need to tense against a future that may never arrive.  There is no need to hold onto whatever has been in the past.

We are often challenged by change and yet we also know that change is always happening. Good times come and go and bad times come and also go. Body sensations are always changing. Our emotions are always changing. Our thoughts are always changing.

When we are able to really practice welcoming we can welcome change without all the stress as we recognise it to be the way the world of matter works. In as much as we are embodied, things will be changing. Our bodies are changing from the moment we are conceived and continue to change after we have died!

In welcoming, in as much as it is a quality of our True Nature and therefore brings us home to our True Nature, we find that which is unchanging. Our True Nature is not the body, nor the emotions, nor the thoughts.  It is not the external circumstances. All of these are in constant change.

Welcoming helps us to discover that which is unchanging and unbound by the temporal and changing circumstances.

Next week I am looking forward to going on a retreat to sit with my teacher, Richard Miller, who has really helped me to recognise the truth of these teachings. On retreat we give ourselves the opportunity to immerse and practise being welcoming and finding our way back to this unchanging Presence that is our True Nature.

In June I am also looking forward to sharing the same with you. Please join me on retreat, and Come Home to Being. June Long Weekend.

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Limiting beliefs

What do you notice about this picture?

Do you believe the flower to be imperfect, or perfect and beautiful just as it is?

What if this flower were a person looking in the mirror. Perhaps it would be telling itself that it is not perfect, not beautiful, not good enough. Believing in this it would probably be feeling bad, suffering in other words.

We all have them, those beliefs that limit us.  This article invites you to explore those limiting ideas, what they might be and mean and give you some strategies for seeing them for what they really are. To get the most from it, sit down with a pen and notebook and do the suggested exercises while you read it.

Ready?

See if any of the following resonate with you.

• I am too fat/skinny/unfit/stiff/weak
• People don't love/respect/like me
• I have too much/more/something else to do
• I cannot do or be something as I am too ignorant/young/old/female/male
• I need a bigger/different/better organised/ house
• It isn't possible because I live where I live and not somewhere else

If you can add any of your own to this list. Grab your notebook and jot them down, and jot down the versions of these that most resonate for you as well.  Don't worry about reinforcing them, we are going to work on that.

Take a look at the list. See if you can arrange them under the following headings (some may seem to cross over more than one, just try to make the best fit for the moment.

• I am not good enough
• There is not enough time
• I don't know enough
• There is more I need to do
• I am in the wrong place or lack space

Did they all fit somewhere in thse headings? These categories I have given are not a random choice but a version of the five Kanchukas, or limitations, which the wisdom teachings tell us are clouding our understanding of our true nature.

• Raaga - limited perfection (shows up as desires which seek to fill up that which is lacking)
• Kaala - limited time 
• Vidya - limited knowing
• Kalaa - limited action or doing
• Niyati - limited space (shows up as being confined to a location, as in a body)

But they are not only the limitations themselves but when we start to notice them they become signposts that point us towards our true nature.

• Raaga, limited perfection, points to our inherent wholeness - Perfection
• Kaala, limited time, points to the timelessness of pure Being, which we are - Eternal
• Vidya, limited knowing, points to the all knowing wisdom which is also here, always - Omniscient
• Kalaa, limited action or doing points to there being no doer and the state of not doing that is the state of pure Being - Omnipotent
• Niyati, limited space points to the spacious infinity of pure Being - Omnipresent and Infinite

Now, go back to your list of limiting beliefs. For each of them, find and record next to it, an opposite.

For example, if you have a belief "I haven't done enough" you might take the opposite to be "I always do the best I can" or "I do as much as I can to the best of my ability"

If you didn't get out a notebook and pen, while the others are completing this task, take a moment to think of what prevented you from doing that.  Perhaps it was "I am too busy right now, I just want to read this and get it over with". This would be the limitation of time, wouldn't it? Was there a different reason?  Is there a Kanchuka there?  Not in the right place just now? Limited space. Unsure of where all this is going?  Limited knowing. There is something wrong with being asked to do exercises? Limited perfection. Can't be bothered doing exercises?  Limited action.

OK, so now look at your list and pick the limiting belief that you find most poignant or resonating with you right now in this moment.  Ask your heart and don't hesitate. Take note of the opposite you have created. 

In a moment take some time to sit awhile with your eyes closed and take the limiting belief, and explore what it feels like?  What emotions does it raise? Where does this live in your body? Sit with that a moment and explore it a bit, being curious. Then take the opposite. If you take this to be true, what does it feel like? What emotions does it raise? where is this in your body. For a little while, as long as you like, go between these two opposites. Take enough time to let the belief, its attendant emotions, perhaps memories, and feelings arise and note the bodily sensations that are there, before moving back to the opposite.

What happens?  Does there come a time when they can both be here together?

Now for a critical question. Who is dong all the observing of these beliefs, these memories and emotions, these sensations in the body? Can you just be there, be that?

Why do we chant mantras 108 times?

At the Yoga Australia teacher's retreat in South Australia recently we took the opportunity to chant the Gayatri Mantra 108 times. This is a traditional practice which is why there are 108 beads on a mala. The fingers are run over the beads to facilitate counting while chanting. There is also a tradition in yoga of doing 108 sun salutations.

The question arose later in conversation, why 108? What is it about 108 that makes it chosen as the number of times to chant a mantra or  do sun salutations?

108 is a number that is ascribed mystical significance in Indian traditions but other traditions as well. Here are some attributions:

• The deities of Hinduism often have 108 names. 
• There are 54 letters in the Sanskrit alphabet; with each letter being attributed with a masculine and a feminine aspect, or more accurately Shiva and Shakti, 54 x 2 = 108. 
• There are said to be 108 Gopis or servants of lord Krishna
• In symbolic terms 1 stands for the one Universal Consciousness from which all arises; 0 stands for completeness or perfection which is also fully spacious (empty, void) that is the goal of the spiritual path; 8 stands for Infinity (laid on its side it is a universal symbol for infinity
• In numerology 9 is considered the number of completion and 12 is the cosmic number. their product 9 x 12 = 108, 108 is the Universal number
• 1+0+8 = 9; in numerology 9 represents unconditional love
• Some schools of Buddhism say there are 108 feelings, multiplying the six senses of taste, hearing, smell, sight, touch and consciousness by the three attributes of  painful, pleasant or neutral, multiplied again by the two factors of whether they are internally or externally generated, and again by the three time divisions of past, present or future. 6 x 3 x 2 x 3 = 108
• 18 is a revered number in Judaism. Gifts and charitable donations are given in multiples of 18 (18 x 6 = 108) and in the number 108 the fullness of zero sits inside 18.
• Many Buddhist temples have 108 steps

But none of this really satisfactorily explains why.

The ancient Indians were keen astronomers (and astrologers) and great mathematicians, so I wondered if all the magical mystical significance comes about due to their understanding of the maths and science of it. And it turns out that there are indeed some pretty amazing things about 108 when we turn to science and mathematics. Like this:

• The average distance of the earth from the sun is 108 times the diameter of the sun
• The average distance of the earth from the moon is 108 times the diameter of the moon

At least it would have been as far as the ancients could observe and calculate it - with modern instruments and computers it is a bit off, but still, I am already going wow!

Now for the mathematics.  I have to admit to quite a lot of  "glazing over" when researching this for I am not noted as a mathematician. But it turns out to be a pretty cool maths idea too. See if you can get your head around these:

• 1¹ x 2² x 3³ = 108 (1 x 4 x 27 = 108) - that is called hyperfactorial. But wait there's more!
• 108 is a refactorial number meaning that it is divisible by the count of its divisors, that is it has 12 divisors, 1 and 108, 2 and 54, 3 and 36, 4 and 27, 6 and 18, 9 and 12, and it is divisible by 12
• The measure in degrees of the internal angle of a regular pentagon is 108 (Euclidean space) - this relates back to metaphysical excitement about the number as pentagons are also considered a magical shape.
•  2 sin (^108°/₂) = ᵩ (the Greek symbol phi which means the golden ratio )

• Apparently it is also a "self number", an "abundant number", a "semi-perfect number" and a "tetranacci number" but this is about where my mathematical capabilities resulted in a headache.

I do not know if all of this has resulted in an answer, really, as to why we chant the mantras 108 times and do 108 sun salutes, or why the deities have 108 names, however with such an amazing number, why not?

Many thanks to my daughter Chaitanya Shettigara for her mathematical input ... she actually does understand it all and was most helpful in researching this article.

Meeting emotions in your practice

This article was first published in the Yoga Spirit Studios monthly e-letter "On the Mat"

"Yoga is meant to make you feel good, right? So how come I can't stop sobbing into my mat today? I don't even know why, there is no reason for this sadness."

If this has ever been you, take heart, you are not alone.

Ninety-nine times out of one hundred we get on the mat, enjoy some stretching and meditation, and afterwards feel relaxed and happy. But once in awhile something else happens. There may be unexplained tears, agitation, anxiety or perhaps even anger. Sometimes the effect emerges later, in vivid dreams, or the urge to cry while waiting for the traffic lights to change.

Coming into the body
Yoga is a somatic practice. This means that it takes us into deep mindfulness of our body. This is true across the range of yoga practices, whether you are practicing asana, or mindfulness meditation or breath awareness. We quieten, listen and sense into everything that is here, and the medium for this experiencing is our senses, the felt sense of the body and how it manifests as our inner and outer environments.

Emotions are not concepts. Emotions are felt senses in our body.  So it is no wonder that as we start to sensitize ourselves to somatic awareness, we will encounter emotions.

Samskaras - the deposits of the past

In Indian and yoga philosophy we understand that past actions, desires and experiences create impressions on the mind/body that are stored and affect future actions and ways of responding to future situations. These are called samskaras.

The samskaras form a lens through which we process all experience. This can be useful, but only up to a point. Just as a stored memory of pain associated with hot  informs us not to touch things that are hot again, so deeply and unconsciously stored samskaras inform our responses to the world and in so doing they may be protective.

But there are limitations. As we become more Conscious, as we develop our awareness and move ourselves through our practice towards  body/mind/spirit integration, the lens of the samskaras are clouding our true experience. 

Then our practice itself will begin to invite a shedding of the samskaras.

Truly meeting ourselves

Meeting ourselves in sensation, we will meet all of the old stored emotions associated with a lifetime of accumulated experience. All the things we have tried to push away, being unwilling to face them, are stored up in these samskaras, or in other words as buried emotion.  They may also be manifesting as muscle tensions, pain, psychological disturbance or illness.

When we start to turn the light of our yoga practice on what is really here, it is necessary to prepare ourselves to welcome the emotions that arise from time to time.

Let well-being support you

It is possible to welcome the emotions that arise if we ground ourselves in a sense of well-being and allow it to support us. In iRest® Yoga Nidra we call this the Inner Resource. 

Remember a time and place when everything was safe and secure, all was well with the world. If you cannot find such a memory, construct it with your imagination. Use all of your senses to help to build this place of security in your mind. Notice how the sense of safety and security feels in your body.

Practice building this Inner Resource often and be aware of the felt sense of well-being in your body. The more you practice it the faster you will be able to locate this sense of well-being in your body.  You may even be able to find it without going through the pathway of memory and image. Get to know it and reassure yourself that it is always there for you.

Next time the difficult emotions arise, can you be an openness of welcoming , allowing it to unfold in its own amazing beauty, allowing yourself to simultaneously be supported by your Inner Resource.

Being able to meet and greet the emotions that emerge on the mat, without pushing them away or being fearful of them, soon you will find they lose their power over you, and you have let go of that samskara and come a little closer to your true self. 

How to catch a monkey

• Take a coconut and drill a hole in it just big enough for a monkey's open hand to fit through.
• Tie the coconut down to the ground
• Put something inside the coconut that the monkey will find irresistible, such as peanuts or banana
• Wait

The monkey will soon come along and reach inside the coconut to grab the delight inside. But with his fist firmly around the treat he is unable to draw his hand back out. The monkey is most reluctant to let go of the treat and remains trapped!

This simple method of catching the monkey is a parable for our own suffering. Our attachment keeps us trapped in the condition of suffering.  Just as the monkey would only need to let go of the bait to be free, all we need to do is to release our attachment.

The Buddha gave the three causes of suffering to be attachment, anger and ignorance.

Patanjali, who wrote the "Yoga Sutras" lists five causes: ignorance (of our true nature); our ego, which defines us as many things, but blinds us to our true self; attachment, like the monkey; aversion or resistance, which is the flip side of attachment; and, fear of death. 

We are advised by the sages to still the mind. I suspect that this is even harder for modern people in the information age to do than it was before the endless barrage of electronically conveyed visual sand mental stimulation. 

I have noticed that when people come to meditation courses quietening the mind is often one of their motivations, yet when people sign up for asana classes relaxation, flexibility, strength and fitness are more often the reasons given. It doesn't matter really. 

If we learn the techniques of meditation we learn techniques to still the mind. It will however be challenging.

In a movement based asana practice, we may first engage in the outward sensations of the body, and the mind may be challenged initially to connect with the body, to discover a sense of its place in space. We may be confronted by limitations of the body. Yet the more we practice, the more we familiarise with the poses of yoga, the more we begin to turn inward, and the practice becomes a moving meditation. In the end we do begin to open to ourselves, to the possibility of discovering our true nature.