Welcoming

Have you ever wondered why you keep reacting to similar situations in the same unhelpful way? Or why you feel deeply offended by something when others seem unruffled (or the other way around)? The thing is that everything that ever happens in our life, leaves a residue or imprint behind. This is a deep conditioning, not just in our mind but deep in the body.

In this post I take a look at these imprints, how the practice of Welcoming helps to resolve them, and then I give you a simple series of steps to practice Welcoming.

The body/mind carries imprints of our experiences

These body imprints have been well explored in the context of trauma by authors such as Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), and Peter Levine (Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma). The imprints of trauma can be extremely debilitating because of their strength, but imprints are laid down from much more minor events of life as well.

These deep impressions may be quite hidden, and their sources forgotten. Indeed systems that teach the transmigration of the personal soul to a new body (reincarnation) believe that they can be carried from one life to the next. No matter that we may not know what they are or where they began, they influence everything we think and do. In the understanding of yoga and other Indian philosophies, they are called samskaras, literally meaning imprint or impression.

Have you ever noticed that the same circumstance, inflicted on different people, has a different affect on each of them, each reacting in different ways.  These days you often hear this discussed in terms of resilience: some people are more resilient than others.  It is discussed in terms of finding ways to build resilience. However the cause is that we each have different imprints from our past which are influencing how we receive the circumstances and therefore react. And in each fresh experience and reaction we are laying down more impressions, often reinforcing the ones that are already there.

Welcoming builds resilience

Without a way to address and resolve these deep impressions, sadly we will keep on reacting based on existing imprints, and we will keep on laying down new ones. Resilience will be elusive.

The good news is that we are not condemned to repeat this as an endless cycle. Freedom begins with the mindful practice of welcoming whatever arrives. It is simple and achievable by all of us.

How it works

At any given moment various events, sensations, emotions, thoughts, are arriving and leaving. Some are comfortable, and we might be inclined to want them to stay. Some are uncomfortable and we might be inclined to push it away, to try to close it out. If an arrival or a departure is resisted, it tattoos itself on your psyche, on your heart. It sticks in your body like a burr on your sock.

The initial work of the journey to experience psychological and spiritual wholeness is to gradually unpick the samskaras like unpicking those burrs from your socks, to invite them to fully unfold so they can at last dissolve. This is Welcoming: To invite whatever is arriving to unfold fully and dissolve away when it does, to neither resist its arrival nor its departure.

Welcoming is where you start. Learning the art of welcoming not only prevents the laying down of new samskaras, but it allows the old to reveal themselves in whatever sensory/emotive way they turn up today. Whatever is arising, in any given moment, welcome it with no refusing, allowing whatever is here to be fully experienced. Welcome whatever comes, fully so it has its opportunity to be seen, to blossom, and to fully dissolve again.

When the socks are free of burrs, that is, when the samskaras have been lovingly met and fully welcomed, we will awaken to who we truly are, whole and perfectly glorious.

Purifying

There are older meanings of samskara which are about purification and purification rites. As we welcome and resolve these hitherto unresolved issues in our body/mind we are indeed purifying ourselves to be who we truly are without blemish and to know ourselves as that without barrier.

You are already perfect and whole. But as the ore clings to the gold and needs to be refined away to release the precious metal, this purification reveals yourself to yourself as you already and truly are.

Meditation is the practice ground

Learning to welcome everything is said more easily than done, especially as those old imprints themselves will be coming up reactively to keep you in old grooves. Meditation can be the practice ground where you rehearse Welcoming in the safe container of the meditation. It builds skills that then get transferred into daily life.

3 Steps to welcoming everything

So here we are. Simple steps to begin to welcome everything, to unpack the old imprints and not to create new ones.

1. Practise somatic awareness - that is attune to sensations in the body.

They are stored in the body and that is where they will first present themselves. What is arising is arising in the body. Welcoming is assisted by acute somatic awareness. Everything will present as a feeling in the body, and Welcoming is easier when you can meet whatever it is at the gate rather than when it is pounding on the door of the inner sanctum.

Develop somatic awareness by:

• Practising a mindful form of Hatha Yoga
• Learning Somatic movement practices
• Body-sensing in iRest® and Body-scanning in Mindfulness

2. Develop a regular practice of a meditation that keeps you attuned to the somatic experience. 

iRest® Yoga Nidra meditation is perfect for this. In this meditation you will:

• Establish a safe haven of wellbeing that you can return to whenever you need 
• Begin the practice of Welcoming by opening the senses
• Notice the subtle feelings that herald emotions and cognitions
• Notice the memories, beliefs and emotions that co-arise
• Welcome everything as it is, and inquire into its need, its message, its source
• Notice how you are aware of what is arising and how welcoming is a quality of Awareness

3. After practicing in a formal meditation practice, bring the same practice to everyday life.

See how you are able to welcome whatever is arising in the process of your daily life. You might take small mindful moments to welcome what is present, just noticing and welcoming.  And then at times you will notice the practice happening at more difficult times.

Meeting emotions in your practice

This article was first published in the Yoga Spirit Studios monthly e-letter "On the Mat"

"Yoga is meant to make you feel good, right? So how come I can't stop sobbing into my mat today? I don't even know why, there is no reason for this sadness."

If this has ever been you, take heart, you are not alone.

Ninety-nine times out of one hundred we get on the mat, enjoy some stretching and meditation, and afterwards feel relaxed and happy. But once in awhile something else happens. There may be unexplained tears, agitation, anxiety or perhaps even anger. Sometimes the effect emerges later, in vivid dreams, or the urge to cry while waiting for the traffic lights to change.

Coming into the body
Yoga is a somatic practice. This means that it takes us into deep mindfulness of our body. This is true across the range of yoga practices, whether you are practicing asana, or mindfulness meditation or breath awareness. We quieten, listen and sense into everything that is here, and the medium for this experiencing is our senses, the felt sense of the body and how it manifests as our inner and outer environments.

Emotions are not concepts. Emotions are felt senses in our body.  So it is no wonder that as we start to sensitize ourselves to somatic awareness, we will encounter emotions.

Samskaras - the deposits of the past

In Indian and yoga philosophy we understand that past actions, desires and experiences create impressions on the mind/body that are stored and affect future actions and ways of responding to future situations. These are called samskaras.

The samskaras form a lens through which we process all experience. This can be useful, but only up to a point. Just as a stored memory of pain associated with hot  informs us not to touch things that are hot again, so deeply and unconsciously stored samskaras inform our responses to the world and in so doing they may be protective.

But there are limitations. As we become more Conscious, as we develop our awareness and move ourselves through our practice towards  body/mind/spirit integration, the lens of the samskaras are clouding our true experience. 

Then our practice itself will begin to invite a shedding of the samskaras.

Truly meeting ourselves

Meeting ourselves in sensation, we will meet all of the old stored emotions associated with a lifetime of accumulated experience. All the things we have tried to push away, being unwilling to face them, are stored up in these samskaras, or in other words as buried emotion.  They may also be manifesting as muscle tensions, pain, psychological disturbance or illness.

When we start to turn the light of our yoga practice on what is really here, it is necessary to prepare ourselves to welcome the emotions that arise from time to time.

Let well-being support you

It is possible to welcome the emotions that arise if we ground ourselves in a sense of well-being and allow it to support us. In iRest® Yoga Nidra we call this the Inner Resource. 

Remember a time and place when everything was safe and secure, all was well with the world. If you cannot find such a memory, construct it with your imagination. Use all of your senses to help to build this place of security in your mind. Notice how the sense of safety and security feels in your body.

Practice building this Inner Resource often and be aware of the felt sense of well-being in your body. The more you practice it the faster you will be able to locate this sense of well-being in your body.  You may even be able to find it without going through the pathway of memory and image. Get to know it and reassure yourself that it is always there for you.

Next time the difficult emotions arise, can you be an openness of welcoming , allowing it to unfold in its own amazing beauty, allowing yourself to simultaneously be supported by your Inner Resource.

Being able to meet and greet the emotions that emerge on the mat, without pushing them away or being fearful of them, soon you will find they lose their power over you, and you have let go of that samskara and come a little closer to your true self.