Embracing embodiment

 Let us bless
The imagination of the Earth.
That knew the early patience
To harness the mind of time,
Waited for the seas to warm, 
Ready to welcome the emergence
Of things dreaming of voyaging
Among the stillness of the land.

So begins John O'Donahue's "In Praise of the earth". I turn to it as I contemplate the bottom-most tattva on the Map of Meditation, earth element. Not lowly for all that it sits there at the bottom, Tattva 36 as numbered from the top down, but remember, it is number one on the return journey! 

(Read my previous post "The map of meditation")

No, not lowly, but the fullest expression of the amazing unfolding of the universe. When the element of earth is manifest, creation is complete.

Think about this. Embodiment, to have a body, is to inhabit earth element.  Only earth element contains the totality of everything, from Śiva Consciousness to the ultimate of creation. As embodied creatures we are that.

Sage Patanjali, in forming the sutras on Śauca, Purity, displays a distaste for the embodied state which was common in many Indian spiritual traditions.

By cleanliness, one [develops] distaste for one's body and the cessation of contact with others. (Yoga Sutra II:40, Bryant tr.)

The original commentator, Vyasa, whom many scholars now surmise was one and the same person as the author of the sutra, observes that the yogin realises that the body can never be clean, no matter how much it is washed, and therefore he no longer would wish to contact with other bodies which is bound to be more polluting.  Sex is off the agenda, for sure!

This attitude arises when you believe that you are somehow separate from the body, believing that it is just simply part of that "other", Prakṛti, when one is attempting to realise fully that one is pure spirit, Puruṣa.

In Advaita Vedanta also, the body is dismissed as not real, the real is Puruṣa, now called Ātman, which is none other than Brahman, Universal Consciousness. There is nothing else. So it too is body-denying, shunning the pleasure and experience of embodiment.

The View of Non-dual Śaiva Tantra is different. There is nothing in your experience of the embodied state that is not a valid place to explore your Essence Nature. Right - down - to - earth!

Further lines of the O'Donohue poem are pertinent:

Let us thank the Earth
That offers ground for home
And holds our feet firm
To walk in space open
To infinite galaxies.

And:

Let us remember within us
The ancient clay,
Holding the memory of seasons,
The passion of the wind,
The fluency of water,
The warmth of fire,
the quiver touch of the sun
And shadowed sureness of the moon.

We thank and praise the whole of experience as anything at all can  and does illuminate the whole of Consciousness which is the author of everything.

So we take the body, and experience it fully. We let go of the concepts we might have about it and simply experience it.  It is sensation. Sometimes loud, sometimes soft. Sometimes it sings, sometimes it cries, but we do not judge, it simply is.  What is your experience of the body, without any thought about it? When we are fully experiencing the whole of what is here by fully entering into the felt sense of the body we are embracing the entirety of all 36 tattvas at once. 

If we divorce ourselves from that full felt experience, we do not fully embrace all of what is here. This not only creates a schism in ourselves where we are unable to fully process feelings and emotions but it also says, I cannot be awakened to the whole of my truth until I can be rid of this body.  And this tradition says, no, you can be awakened in an embodied form. Accept and embrace everything.

So being fully embodied, fully embracing the felt sense of the body with all that it presents, helps us to become more psychologically integrated but also helps us towards our spiritual awakening. Whoopee, let’s fully sense our body.

The Vijñāna-bhairava-tantra has many practices that invite us to be fully embodied, with the promise that this may be the experience that catapults us to Awakening, such as when receiving a body piercing, fully enter into the pain; when embracing a friend not seen for a long time sense into that embrace; swinging on a swing, through the soothing motion one knows the Divine.

Yoga Nidra always includes a rotation of awareness around the body. It springs from the practice of nyasa, a ritual of touching parts of the body in a rotation together with the intonation of specific mantras. The literal touching and the mantra are replaced by mentally touching named parts of the body with attention and then moving it on to the next point.

In iRest® this is a fully developed experiencing of the body as sensation, letting go of cognition and simply experiencing as sensation.

Movement practice such as asana, can be practiced as an athletic exercise, true, as in a vigorous vinyasa, however all asana practice is an opportunity to practice being fully embodied, sensing into the full sensation of the body, moving a bit more slowly perhaps to be more fully present. Somatics was not designed as an Awakening sadhana, but it is so mindful it too offers such an opportunity.  All our movement practices, with the right approach, can be "Embodiment practice", an opportunity to  connect to all the elements, right down to Earth.

Do not forget the simple act of living as an opportunity too. Walk barefoot and feel the earth, the grass, the sand, the rock, beneath the feet and between the toes. Put your hands in the dirt by gardening. 

What will you do to embrace yourself as Earth element today?

The Blue Marble is a famous photograph of the Earth taken on December 7, 1972, by the crew of the Apollo 17 spacecraft en route to the Moon at a distance of about 29,000 kilometres (18,000 mi). It shows Africa, Antarctica, and the Arabian Peninsula.

Limiting the limitless - pointers to your True Self

The Kaňcukas part 2

Last month I wrote about the five Kaňcukas, which are like veils that limit the vast perfection of the Divine Everything so that it takes form as the diversity that is the manifest universe. Today I will say a few words about each of these.

But first, it is important to note that these limitations, though they lie like veils over our true nature concealing to ourselves the vastness of who we really are, they are not something to be despised or something we need to be rid of. Everything is to be welcomed on this path. And the wonderful thing is that the very aspect that is a covering is also a clue, even a portal through which we might find our way home.

This article refers to the way we can use our iRest® Yoga Nidra meditation practice to help us work with the Kaňcukas. If you are unfamiliar with iRest please visit www.irest.org/ to learn more.

I am also indebted to Christopher Wallis for assisting me in understanding the Kaňcukas and I recommend the relevant section of his book Tantra Illuminated. He explains it far better than I ever could.

Limited agency - Kalā

The first step on this path of creation is the limitation of omnipotence (the Divine power of action, which is limitless). The most important thing to note about this is that it does not make us powerless in our embodied form. Kalā is not impotence. It is indeed the Divine power of action itself, just a little pared down. 

Our spiritual path is to nurture and grow that divine Power until we finally realise our full and innate divinity.

In practice, this will mean that when we encounter the power of action in its limited form we have an opportunity to expand it a little. This is why they are pointers.

So meeting “there is always more needing to be done” and my urge to do more, I can also recognize the divine power of doing that brings all of this manifestation to being and dissolves it all back again. If I meet the feeling of powerlessness, can it point me to the feeling of potency? And while we might see these as two opposites in the movement of emotions in awareness, just as we come to know welcoming, and wellbeing as aspects of awareness, so too both omnipotence in its fullness, and its self-limiting form we experience in embodiment are ultimately aspects of that one consciousness as well.

Limited knowing - Vidyā

The limitation of knowing – Vidyā, is not ignorance. Māyā conceals the fullness of omniscience in order to project Consciousness into manifestation.

We are granted the ability to know something about our world and to continue to learn more about our world. The biggest trap of Vidyā is not the urge to know more, it is thinking that what you know is all there is.

The old story of the blind people and the elephant illustrates this.

“A group of blind men heard that a strange animal, called an elephant, had been brought to the town, but none of them were aware of its shape and form. Out of curiosity, they said: "We must inspect and know it by touch, of which we are capable". So, they sought it out, and when they found it they groped about it. In the case of the first person, whose hand landed on the trunk, said "This being is like a thick snake". For another one whose hand reached its ear, it seemed like a kind of fan. As for another person, whose hand was upon its leg, said, the elephant is a pillar like a tree-trunk. The blind man who placed his hand upon its side said the elephant, "is a wall". Another who felt its tail, described it as a rope. The last felt its tusk, stating the elephant is that which is hard, smooth and like a spear.” (Wikipedia's version)

Each thought that they knew what an elephant was, but when they shared what they knew with each other they fell into arguing.

Image credit, medium.com

And this is the trap of Vidyā we see played out in life. This is the human tendency to believe our own limited subjective truth and to ignore, dismiss and even repress the limited subjective truth of others.

In terms of our personal spiritual path, we may fall into a trap based on a limited experience of thinking that we’ve “arrived”. So part of our path is to always seek to expand our understanding.

In fact the manifestation of “Vidyā” of believing “There is more I need to know” is to be welcomed as it keeps us questing.

Vidyā is nothing but the limited form of the divine power of Knowing, jňāna-śakti. As we expand our horizon of limited knowing we more closely approximate towards jňāna-śakti.

Ultimately of course we seek to move beyond words and thinking to the knowing that is an inner wisdom, a lifting of the veil of Māyā to sense that which all the words of teachers, live or in writing, ancient or modern, can only hint at, though they may point the way.

In practice – what we think we know is what we believe. In our quest to expand our knowing, we are seeking to situate what we know in a wider context. In iRest®, our practice in the realm of beliefs does just that. If I am believing “I am a failure, everything I do just turns bad, I have the touch of death for any enterprise” and I come up with all sorts of memories to support that, and I wallow in all the emotions of that, I can use the iRest process to expand that and situate in a broader context, allowing me to move beyond it. I can do that by work in the opposites, what is the opposite or alternative to “I am a failure”? We can work with it anthropomorphically – if this belief walked into the room what would it be … can you dialogue with it. Substitute any belief … “my religion/atheism is true and others are wrong, even evil”, “my politics are the best, the other mob are dangerous”.

The limitation of perfection - rāga - desire

 When the veil of Māyā limits the divine powers, divine perfection is thus limited, and in our embodiment, which is possible only due to all this limiting, we have the sense of not being complete. This leads to desire and craving, raga, as we seek that which will make us feel complete. We misplace the direction of our yearning and crave material possessions, recognition, fame, acknowledgement, food, attention, holidays, physical connection, sex, a different body, and so it goes. We may even fall into addiction to food, alcohol or other substances. If I feel imperfect in this now, in this body, then perhaps if I can get that then I will feel whole. If only everybody paid more attention to me, then I would know I am whole. If only I were 10kgs lighter, then I would feel more perfect. If only I had more money.

In fact all desire, all craving, is the yearning for Divine Perfection, which ironically is already here, just the veil of Māyā prevents our recognition of it. In our work in iRest® we invite connection with what we call the Heartfelt Desire, (though many like to use other terms and that is fine). Eventually we might come to recognise that Whatever we first identify as our heartfelt desire is ultimately that yearning for the wholeness of Divine Perfection.

Watch for the guises in which desire becomes cloaked by the mind … but I need this. But the other is lacking for not giving me attention. But life is unfair and I deserve such and such.

Other literal meanings of the word rāga are to colour or tint; and a musical harmony or melody.

Desire colours the mind and tints our perspective and influences how we see the world and other people. For example: The desire for attention will see everybody else’s attention as belonging to ourselves and we will become demanding of it, even manipulative to achieve it … and this will colour all our relationships.

In Indian music a rāga is also like a scale, but also like a theme upon which variations can be played. And the musical notes present themselves with dissonance and resolution. The dissonant notes will feel imperfect, they crave a resolution. And then of course the resolution comes and the harmony resolves. That dissonant note is the craving for fullness.

Desire, rāga, shows us areas where we may need to expand ourselves more fully. Self-inquiry, as in meditation but also in reflection, can reveal our cravings. OK if we have a craving for peanut butter that is easy to identify, but truly recognising something like our craving for attention may require us to open our eyes somewhat, to be come more self-aware in the small s sense. 

Rāga is not to be rejected, but transmuted.

• Recognise desire, truly
• Trace desire back to its source
• Recognise your yearning for divine fullness
• Allow that yearning to guide you home – you are just following the perfume!

The limitation of time - Kāla

From the timelessness of Pure Consciousness, linear time is a requirement of embodied experience. In pure Consciousness everything is simultaneous, but as embodied beings we experience one moment after another.

Our awareness of linear time also gives us the sense of past and future. Our sense of the past can make us feel guilty, regretful and also nostalgic. Our sense of the future can make us fear, worry, and also fantasize.

It is easy to appreciate the burden of guilt and worry. But less obvious is that nostalgia and fantasy are a burden. But we are grasping at both, attached to both and in that attachment we are missing the middle point.

Poised in the middle is the present moment, so much eulogised in our age of mindfulness practices.

It is the sense of linear time that seems to be the distinguishing mark of the human animal. Do the animals fret with guilt over their past failings or with worry over the potentiality of the future. Do they have nostalgia or do they fantasize?  Well we cannot know for sure but it appears not. Yet the mindful now we humans seek is not that of the animals. It is in our reflection on the past and anticipation of a future that we find a potential for evolution, for growth.

We seek to stay in the present with full awareness of guilt and nostalgia, worry and fantasy, all the while being free of them. Again, the limitation of time, manifesting as guilt or anxiety, nostalgia or fantasy, is welcomed as the pointer to the state of Presence. – The present which constantly flows, is constantly flowing from Consciousness and unfolding as manifestation and is simultaneously reabsorbed into Consciousness.

We can invite the law of opposites to guide us, working with pairs such as:

• Guilt and nostalgia
• Fantasy and worry
• Fantasy and nostalgia
• Guilt and worry
• Nostalgia and worry
• Fantasy and guilt

The limitation of space - Niyati

Niyati is very interesting. It is the limitation that results in us experiencing individuality and separation.

Pure Consciousness has no dimension. You may have experienced this immense spaciousness. In iRest we often ask the question: is there any centre, is there any periphery, inviting the discovery of, no there is not, there is everywhere-ness and nowhere in particular-ness.

(Richard Miller, creator of iRest, has said that that expression he uses so often, everywhere and nowhere in particular, was how one veteran in one of the early PTSD trials at Walter Reid described it, and he picked up those words as being the best representation he had come across.)

Niyati creates the three dimensions of space, in which materiality is possible, and in so doing the sense of location, of having centre and periphery, comes about. And since we also have the sense of not being able to occupy the same space as anything else, the sense of separation arises. Niyati then is the restriction of the formless transcendence that is Śiva itself!

In embodied life we constantly experience niyati by the very sense of our body as a spatial location. We also experience frustrations of space, not having enough of it for example, or the space we occupy not being good enough.

Everyday practice is to reorient ourselves to all our actions being in selfless service. This might seem tricky when we meet our pure motive prayer, I practice out of love for myself, out of a desire to know the truth … until we refine our understanding that it is only in the sense of separation created by niyati that we have a sense of ourself at all, and to serve ourself is to serve all others. HOWEVER, that does not really let you off the hook. In loving yourself, you need not seek endless fruits for yourself, and the more you ardently discover the Truth, the less that is seen as a true goal. And in the prayer for pure motive, it is underpinned by “for the benefit of all beings” which immediately removes “selfish” motive.

In meditation we invite an experiential welcoming of Consciousness – Awareness – as unbounded spaciousness.

That can also be a micro meditation for anytime. Just stop. Expand. Touch into that spaciousness, even if just for a moment.

It is like the dyer dying the cloth. To obtain a really rich colour the cloth goes in and comes out. Then it will go in again, and out, and in again, and so on until the colour is at the rich hue required. So too we are dipping into pure spaciousness, again and again. Eventually we are saturated with it and it never leaves us.

Go to Part 1

The five pointers - Kaňcukas

Part 1 Learning never ceases. I am constantly looking for guides from whom I can glean more gems from the yogic path. I have recently done an online course with a beautiful and stunningly intelligent woman by the name of Kavitha Chinnaiyan … cardiologist, and lineage holder in the Sri Vidya lineage. During the course she explained that to ascribe gender to siva and sakti is only a device, that gender cannot truly be ascribed to them as they are but aspects of oneness, that even to use such a term as oneness, implying as it does that there is a more than one, does not do justice to That which we seek to describe. She also gave a powerful image of how the world becomes manifest – as sakti turns to face siva, manifestation dissolves into the still spaciousness of siva, as sakti turns away manifestation occurs, and sakti turns and turns, like the blinking of an eye, so there is a pulsation in this manifestation, a throb, a vibration, we do not usually notice it, manifestation seems continuous, just like when you run the individual frames of old fashioned analogue film through the projector, the world on the screen seems continuous and you do not see those moments in the frame where there is no picture. This vibration is called Spanda. But the View writings reveal more detail about how this manifestation occurs. Kaňcukas: concealments for manifestation In this process there are five concealments that mask our oneness. These concealments are necessary in order for that which is unlimited to take form. In Sanskrit they are called the Kaňcukas, in iRest®, Richard Miller dubbed them “the pointer sisters”. I will come back to the reason why. The concealments, or limitations, are: Kalā – limited agency (or doing) Vidyā – limited knowing Rāga – limited perfection = desire/craving Kāla – limited time – sequential time, divisions of time, passing of time Niyatī – limited space – localisation and causality We can easily see these in action. There is so much more I need to do. There is so much more I need to know  I so much crave that … < insert latest craving here> (holiday in Bali, new car, chocolate bar, better body) I just don’t have time, am running out of time, I have a past, I anticipate a future  I don’t have enough space, I need a bigger house, closet, kitchen etc – or I am too big, I am too small, I am in the wrong city, I am not happy unless I am at the beach etc iRest® founder Richard Miller calls them pointer sisters as they are like signposts with an arm pointing both ways. This way – manifestation, embodiment and the sense of being incomplete That way – lifting through the veils to recognition of true nature as always whole, nothing needing to be done, omnipotent, omniscient, perfection, eternal and infinite. Between recognition and the Kaňcukas of limitation is Māyā, laying like a strata of cloud that conceals the sun.  Have you ever had the experience of taking off in a plane on an overcast day? The plane leaves the ground in dull conditions and enters the cloud and things are even duller. Then there is a moment when the plane breaks through the cloud and you find there is brilliant sunshine above the clouds. Our perception is like that. When embodiment happens and a sense of I develops, that "I" loses the sense divine Oneness and feels separate and different to everything else. This is like living in dullness. When you break through the clouds you awaken to the brilliance of non-duality. Sink below the clouds and and you are in the realm of limitations and a sense of separation. So they are pointers because as we can recognise them as they are present in our lives we can also take them as reminders or pointers to who we really are. These limitations are never a voiding of the unlimited attributes of the Divine Oneness. The limitation of infinite power is not impotence. It is just enough of a limitation for dimensions and linear time and action to be possible, preconditions to manifestation and embodiment. So meeting the Kaňcukas is not to be despaired at, nor are they to be rejected. You are not trying to get rid of them, just to recognise what is on the other side of that strata of clouds, Maya, and what these pointers represent! Try this sadhana, spiritual practice, you can take it on for a week, a month or forever; notice the action of the Kaňcukas in your life, and you might journal how they affect you and reflect on how they might be pointing you to your true self. In Part 2 we will look at each of these in more detail. Go to Part 2

Beyond duality

Vitarkabādhane pratikpakṣabhāvanam*

Yoga Sutra 2:33

Translations:

When the mind is disturbed by passions one should practise pondering over their opposites.

Swami Satyananda Saraswati

In order to exclude from the mind questionable things, the mental calling up of those things that are opposite is efficacious for their removal.

William Q. Judge

When distracted by wayward or perverted rationalization, suitable counter measures should be adopted to keep away or remove such obstacles, especially by the contemplation of the other point of view.

Swami Venkatesananda

When negative feelings restrict us, the opposite should be cultivated.

Alistair Shearer

When disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite [positive] ones should be thought of. This is pratipaksha bhavana.

Swami Satchidananada

Cultivating of opposites

The phenomenal world is a world of opposites: Hot/cold, big/little, smart/stupid, black/white, me/you. It is a world of dualistic opposites. It has to be so. Whatever we are experiencing now, the opposite is also here, or at the very least, waiting in the wings. Our thinking is in opposites, our feeling and emoting is in opposites. 

Yoga Sutra 2:33 recognises that we become embroiled in disturbing cognitions and feelings and counsels the cultivation of the opposite. You might ask, if the opposite can always be here too, why do I get caught up in the most uncomfortable of the pair, in distress instead of in comfort? 

This has to do with the way our brain has evolved to keep us safe.  We have a negative bias.  Better that we mistake a stick for a snake than a snake for a stick. What happens though is that we get a bit trapped in the negativity and begin to  suffer.  We believe it, so we suffer.

In this age of the wonders of imaging the brain scientists have now shown how cultivating gratitude for example can change the very structures of the brain, growing the hippocampus and shrinking the amygdala. Cultivation of gratitutde is an example of cultivating the opposite.  When doom and gloom is all around, practice noticing what there is to be grateful for.

Welcoming opposites

The practice becomes even more powerful when we also practice welcoming both sides of the pair, not rejecting that discomforting side, not clinging on to that more comfortable side, but being open to them both.

In the practice of iRest® yoga nidra meditation we do this, moving between the two sides of the pair, welcoming both, whether it is a feeling in the body, such as hot/cold, an emotion and its feeling in the body, such as sad/happy, or a thought or belief, such as I am stupid/I am smart. We always notice how they feel in the body and go between those feelings, not just summoning them as a thought.  What does it feel like to believe I am stupid? What does it feel like to believe I am smart?

Both together

It is when we reach the point where we hold them both together that the really big power moment comes. It is not a merging, but both here together, both opposites at the same time. 

Wow! The resolution opens up to a state that is beyond opposites.  This is a sense of open, welcoming, Presence that is full of equanimity. How so?

Moving beyond duality to the simple way things are

This embodied form incudes all the thoughts, emotions, and every perception that we have, including the me thought. This embodied form is constrained by thought into believing in separation, a me and a you. It is in this state that the opposites arise.

The mind of thoughts is so powerful, and we are so habituated to its illusions, that we need a few tricks if we are to see beyond it and experience another Reality. And one of those little tricks is this work in opposites. When we hold these two opposite constructs of the mind at the same time, we may be able to "see" beyond them to the simple awaring Presence that everything is. 

Everything is. It is not was or will be, it is. 


* vitarka - doubt, discussion, discursive thoughts, passions
   badhane - disturbance, harrassment, torment
   pratipaksha - the opposite
   bhavanam - should be thought of, pondered, state of mind

Welcoming

Have you ever wondered why you keep reacting to similar situations in the same unhelpful way? Or why you feel deeply offended by something when others seem unruffled (or the other way around)? The thing is that everything that ever happens in our life, leaves a residue or imprint behind. This is a deep conditioning, not just in our mind but deep in the body.

In this post I take a look at these imprints, how the practice of Welcoming helps to resolve them, and then I give you a simple series of steps to practice Welcoming.

The body/mind carries imprints of our experiences

These body imprints have been well explored in the context of trauma by authors such as Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score), and Peter Levine (Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma). The imprints of trauma can be extremely debilitating because of their strength, but imprints are laid down from much more minor events of life as well.

These deep impressions may be quite hidden, and their sources forgotten. Indeed systems that teach the transmigration of the personal soul to a new body (reincarnation) believe that they can be carried from one life to the next. No matter that we may not know what they are or where they began, they influence everything we think and do. In the understanding of yoga and other Indian philosophies, they are called samskaras, literally meaning imprint or impression.

Have you ever noticed that the same circumstance, inflicted on different people, has a different affect on each of them, each reacting in different ways.  These days you often hear this discussed in terms of resilience: some people are more resilient than others.  It is discussed in terms of finding ways to build resilience. However the cause is that we each have different imprints from our past which are influencing how we receive the circumstances and therefore react. And in each fresh experience and reaction we are laying down more impressions, often reinforcing the ones that are already there.

Welcoming builds resilience

Without a way to address and resolve these deep impressions, sadly we will keep on reacting based on existing imprints, and we will keep on laying down new ones. Resilience will be elusive.

The good news is that we are not condemned to repeat this as an endless cycle. Freedom begins with the mindful practice of welcoming whatever arrives. It is simple and achievable by all of us.

How it works

At any given moment various events, sensations, emotions, thoughts, are arriving and leaving. Some are comfortable, and we might be inclined to want them to stay. Some are uncomfortable and we might be inclined to push it away, to try to close it out. If an arrival or a departure is resisted, it tattoos itself on your psyche, on your heart. It sticks in your body like a burr on your sock.

The initial work of the journey to experience psychological and spiritual wholeness is to gradually unpick the samskaras like unpicking those burrs from your socks, to invite them to fully unfold so they can at last dissolve. This is Welcoming: To invite whatever is arriving to unfold fully and dissolve away when it does, to neither resist its arrival nor its departure.

Welcoming is where you start. Learning the art of welcoming not only prevents the laying down of new samskaras, but it allows the old to reveal themselves in whatever sensory/emotive way they turn up today. Whatever is arising, in any given moment, welcome it with no refusing, allowing whatever is here to be fully experienced. Welcome whatever comes, fully so it has its opportunity to be seen, to blossom, and to fully dissolve again.

When the socks are free of burrs, that is, when the samskaras have been lovingly met and fully welcomed, we will awaken to who we truly are, whole and perfectly glorious.

Purifying

There are older meanings of samskara which are about purification and purification rites. As we welcome and resolve these hitherto unresolved issues in our body/mind we are indeed purifying ourselves to be who we truly are without blemish and to know ourselves as that without barrier.

You are already perfect and whole. But as the ore clings to the gold and needs to be refined away to release the precious metal, this purification reveals yourself to yourself as you already and truly are.

Meditation is the practice ground

Learning to welcome everything is said more easily than done, especially as those old imprints themselves will be coming up reactively to keep you in old grooves. Meditation can be the practice ground where you rehearse Welcoming in the safe container of the meditation. It builds skills that then get transferred into daily life.

3 Steps to welcoming everything

So here we are. Simple steps to begin to welcome everything, to unpack the old imprints and not to create new ones.

1. Practise somatic awareness - that is attune to sensations in the body.

They are stored in the body and that is where they will first present themselves. What is arising is arising in the body. Welcoming is assisted by acute somatic awareness. Everything will present as a feeling in the body, and Welcoming is easier when you can meet whatever it is at the gate rather than when it is pounding on the door of the inner sanctum.

Develop somatic awareness by:

• Practising a mindful form of Hatha Yoga
• Learning Somatic movement practices
• Body-sensing in iRest® and Body-scanning in Mindfulness

2. Develop a regular practice of a meditation that keeps you attuned to the somatic experience. 

iRest® Yoga Nidra meditation is perfect for this. In this meditation you will:

• Establish a safe haven of wellbeing that you can return to whenever you need 
• Begin the practice of Welcoming by opening the senses
• Notice the subtle feelings that herald emotions and cognitions
• Notice the memories, beliefs and emotions that co-arise
• Welcome everything as it is, and inquire into its need, its message, its source
• Notice how you are aware of what is arising and how welcoming is a quality of Awareness

3. After practicing in a formal meditation practice, bring the same practice to everyday life.

See how you are able to welcome whatever is arising in the process of your daily life. You might take small mindful moments to welcome what is present, just noticing and welcoming.  And then at times you will notice the practice happening at more difficult times.

Tripping over my stories

Lately I have been noticing how I keep tripping over my stories. Sometimes I have checked in with a friend, to say, "Am I reading too much into this?" I am truly thrilled that I am noticing this.  Otherwise I would just be reacting, believing my stories to be true.  That I am suspecting that my own, essentially fabricated, story is involved is a step in the right direction. 

Let me explain what I mean. I will then examine the implications and the alternative, and give you a five step path to freedom from your stories.

The mind is hard-wired to make up stories

The shocking thing to our sense of self is that the mind is hard-wired to make up stories. It has been known by the yogis for centuries, they called these stories vikalpa but it  also has been shown scientifically. Experiments with folk who have had the left and right brain hemisphere's disconnected to treat severe epilepsy have shown that one side is constantly making up stories that may have no connection to reality in order to rationalise perceptions. We are literally hard-wired to lie to ourselves! I know, it is shattering. (Could this be true? Want to know more?) Believing those stories can be a source of great suffering.

Shocking ... and liberating

This can be a shocking thing to realise; but when we do it is so liberating. No longer do we need to believe those stories ... like the one that is saying "I am just not good enough",  which can take a few different guises, like these:

• I am not good-looking enough, my body is imperfect.
• I am not intelligent enough.
• I am not sophisticated enough (for this job, this event, these people)
• I am a failure at everything
• I am out of my league.

Sometimes the stories come in the guise of blaming. Someone else is to blame for all my suffering.

Then there are the stories about obligations - you should or should not behave in a certain way, like you should (or should not) wear brand name yoga clothes in your yoga class, or you should (or should not) wear your hair in a certain way, get tattoos, body piercings or have cosmetic surgery.

Let me be clear, I am not saying here that we should or shouldn't do any of these things, but what I am saying is that we should be sorting out whether we are behaving in a certain way because of the stories that are not true, or not. After all, a story my brain has made up could well be saying to me not to do something and a story your brain has made up might be telling you to do exactly the same thing.

When my stories intersect with yours

Now we really are in a tricky pickle! When any of us meet from the point of view of believing our own stories, we can either reinforce our delusion, or come into conflict over our delusions. We are all doing the best we can, but when that best is blindfolded by myth, the outcome may appear less than skillful.

Even our love for each other is not enough to lift the veil. How often do we interpret the actions of  a loved one as a slight on ourselves, when in reality they are acting on the basis of their story, and we are reacting on the basis of our own?

The true course is felt not thought

None of us are immune. Only if we can recognise when our view, our course of action, is being guided by story, will we be free.

The only true course is one that is free from story, and that course is felt, not thought. To tune into that we need to become still, to listen beyond the stories.

The inner quiet place of Truth

The good news is that we do not need to relegate ourselves to suffering by forever believing our stories. The meditative paths of yoga offer us techniques for accessing the inner quiet place of Truth. It is simple, however simple does not mean instant nor easy, but if you think it is worth being free of your stories, the path is there to follow.

The alternative to action based on stories is not anarchy

What is the alternative to thinking through a course of action, to basing decision making or action upon anything other than the stories the mind presents us with?

Naturally, if you see through the stories, you will no longer be compelled to act upon them.  They may still arise but will have no power.  So how on earth do we find the right course of action. This is a radical shift.

When we let go of, or see right through the story-telling of the mind, and are free of them at last, does this mean that we are governed by nothing, that all is anarchic?  Not at all. Being free of the stories is a stilling of the mind, and this is the object of meditation. When the mind becomes quiet we can "hear" a different voice. I place that in quotes because you don't really hear it, you feel it. Free of the compulsion of stories, we come into an intuitive power that shows us the way through feeling, and the feeling is one of harmony.

Choose the path that feels most harmonious. Which path feels most right?

The five step path to freeing yourself of the tyranny of your stories

1. Intellectual knowing that your mind is always creating stories is a start. Having read this blog, you have taken this step.
2. Practice meditations daily that encourage a connection to the deep Inner presence that you are. This is beyond thoughts and stories. (iRest® meditation does this.)
3. Watch how your stories arise, unfold and dissolve within this Awaring Presence.
4. Keep practising until you can bring this into daily life, find yourself as Awaring Presence, and see the stories arising.
5. Keep coming back to Awaring Presence and feel into the action that will feel harmonious. Follow that.

This path works

I am recommending this path from personal experience. It works.  That is why lately I have noticed myself noticing my stories. I am looking forward to continuing to refine the process until I can feel truly free of the stories and be guided solely by that inner quiet voice of harmony.

There is nothing new about this path though. If you care to look you will find exactly this path set out in the writings of the ancient sages.

It's a bit scary ... but then that fear is just another story I am telling myself. It feels harmonious, so I am going there.

Reset your defaults

There were some intensely emotional moments last week when I heard the news that loved ones were involved in a serious car accident. There were moments when I was caught up in "how did they survive"! There is horror and trauma in that thought,  it might so easily have been a different story. But it wasn't. I have been watching and welcoming  all the emotions that the events have unleashed, and the thoughts that accompany them. There truly is nothing that is not a messenger with a valuable message to deliver.

Immediately upon hearing the news I recognised feelings of anxiety and distress in my body and then the presence of immense gratitude.

Yes, along with tumultuous other feelings there is gratitude - has to be, my loved ones did survive, and that is a miracle. Concern for them remains, there are injuries to body and spirit to be navigated, but oh so much gratitude.

I am also experiencing deep gratitude for the guidance of my teachers who have shown me the way to welcome my feelings, emotions and thoughts, all as sensations in the body, and the lessons that become available through lived experience of the deep wisdom of the teachings.

This week I have been doing the practices and proving them to myself. I don't pretend to be a saint and it is not always so easy to live the teachings, my feathers are often ruffled. I am ordinary like that - we all are. But I am glad I have been doing my yoga practices daily and that they can step up and help me to navigate difficult times.

What yoga practices are they that have been so useful?

Well it has not had a lot to do with a well executed, nicely aligned trikonasana, although I still advocate asana practice to keep the body healthy, and a lovely asana practice can also be a moving meditation. However in my experience, love it though I do, yogasana practice alone is not what builds resilience in the face of what life throws at me.

I am most grateful (there's that word again) for the practices of iRest®.  Of all the yoga sadhana (practices) I have learnt in 40 odd years of exploration in yoga and meditation, iRest has provided me with the tools that work, for me, working in meditation daily and then taking the same practices into daily life where we really meet "stuff". And my tumultuous week has focused my understanding of how well it works.

The brain's default positions and how to change them 

The default position of the mind is to wander all over the place, to ruminate. This is the factory default if you like, and it serves a purpose. The mind in Default Mode Network is scanning the internal environment and in so doing may make new connections, make plans, analyse events and so on. That can be useful, until it takes over and gets us into an overthinking loop.

Another default position is our Negative bias. We are preset to see the worst, just like the A. A. Milne character Eeyore. Again this is protective. Better to get out of the way of a stick thinking it to be a snake than to get bitten by a snake you saw as a stick.

You can see where this leads us.  When the Default Network and Negative Bias get going together we have discursive negative thoughts, and everything is doom and gloom, just like poor Eeyore!

"The Default Network and Negative bias together lead to discursive negative thoughts ... but you can change the default settings."


Just as on your computer you can change default settings to something that will serve you better, it is possible to change your mental defaults as well.

Meditation techniques often get us out of this loop by focusing the mind, which moves us into another network called the Attention Network (sometimes called "Task Positive Network"). In the Attention Mode we can focus and learn. It is possible to stay in Attention Network for a sustained period of time, such as when performing a creative task that becomes all consuming and we completely lose track of time and whatever other responsibilities we may have. It is not possible to be in the Attention Network and the Default Mode simultaneously. "Best to stay busy" is often a response to difficult times, but all too often we can turn off the Discursive default mode during the day by staying busy, but the moment we stop being busy and try to sleep it rushes back online.

Meditation techniques that use points of focus, such as breath awareness, mandala visualisation, chanting, or that set tasks like rotating awareness through points in the body, are switching on the Attention Network. And studies do show that the more we switch on the Attention Network, the less discursive is the Default Network and the more we are able to concentrate. 

In iRest we employ such techniques for example when we sense the body and attend to the breath. 

But it is not a complete reset of the defaults.

Resetting the defaults - the alternative

Research has shown that if we utilise meditations on the feelings of the heart, loving kindness, compassion, gratitude as examples, we begin to reset the Negative bias. I have long had a daily practice of gratitude which I often share in class - think of just three things today that you could be grateful for. There is always something to be grateful for. Build this practice into everyday life and we literally change our brain, taking a more positive outlook.

And yes, we can also change our default network away from the discursive Default Mode Network.

There is another network which we can call the Present Centered Network. We learn to step into this network in our iRest practice, for example when we work with opposites. We utilise the Attention Network first. Try this:

Sense the left hand. Feel it fully. Let go of visualising it and just feel the left hand.

Shift to the right hand. Feel it fully, without visualising, just feel the right hand.

Go backwards and forwards between hands, attending to sensing just that one hand while you are there, and then to just the other.

When the time is right sense both hands at the same time.

While sensing one hand or the other we are utilising the Attention Network, but the moment we sense both at the same time we open into Present Centeredness. With consistent practice in various situations as we encounter in a regular iRest Yoga Nidra practice (by regular I mean daily), Present Centered becomes our new default that we can carry into everyday living, it becomes our Default Present Centered Network.

I offer gratitude to those who gave me reminders this week as I drifted back into the old Default Mode and Negative bias - you may not have even known that you were reminding me but at various times the messages came and helped me to keep finding my way back to the Present centered. 

My deepest gratitude I offer to my teachers, especially to Richard Miller who took the ancient teachings and tweaked them for our modern lives, infusing them with his knowledge of psychology that joins in him with an amazing and deep knowledge of yoga traditions. And others who have also learnt from him and who have helped along the way to illuminate my path, including Anne Douglas, Fuyuko Toyota, Jennifer Carbanero, Kirsten Guest, Molly Birkholm, Ford Peck and Stephanie Lopez.

Learn iRest Yoga Nidra with me - find the next 6 week course.

Opposites

Can you imagine hot without cold? Heavy without light? Night without day?

Opposites are everywhere, they are a natural part of the universe. But when we experience only one half of a pair of opposites we become stuck. As Rumi puts it:

Your hand opens and closes, and opens and closes.
If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed.

When we find that we are becoming stuck, remembering to use the Law of Opposites, which is a tool of iRest®, can be magic.

Are you stuck on one side of the pair?

Perhaps in deep grief, or in anxiety or fear, or in despair.

Remembering the Law of Opposites, that there are always opposites, could you find a memory or image that could evoke an opposite.

It doesn't need to be an exact opposite, as that might be a step too far, too hard to make. You can imagine a spectrum full of alternatives, the true opposites might be at either end, but wherever you are stuck on the spectrum, there is an alternative available to you. Perhaps just "I am OK".

We are not denying our grief, or our fear or our despair, we are simply posing the alternative. The next thing we do is to move between them, fully experiencing each in turn.  Watch what happens as you do this. You are focussing on one, and then the other.

But then, could there be a moment when you experience them both at the same time.  The defocussing diffusion that can occur moves us to a completely different space or open spaciousness.

Re-charging well-being

Within you is an unchanging deep well of well-being. We call it your Inner

Beat a well worn path to your inner feelings of well-being

Resource. It is innate and it is natures gift to us to help us be resilient no matter what happens in life.

Just as important to our survival is our negativity bias.

This seems contradictory doesn't it? It is a paradox.

The negativity bias keeps us safe. If we hear a bump in the night the negativity bias would have us immediately think that danger lurks so we can become alert and ready to flee, freeze or defend, whatever the best option is in the moment. It is a deep instinct. It comes on stream before the logical powers of our thinking mind can kick in, deducing that it is windy outside and that darned tree branch just banged against the gutter again and to make yet another mental note to prune it before the next windy night!

The inner resource may be there all the while. The inner resource can hold us calm to allow the thinking mind to do its deducing. The inner resource can keep us calm us while we get back to sleep.

Why is it then that we have so often lost touch with the inner resource of well-being?

The detritus of life has buried it. This can especially happen if it is not regularly recharged, if there has been a string of misfortunes or challenges, or a major traumatic event. But even the constant stresses of ordinary modern life, feeling time poor, job insecurity, the bills coming in, more and more until we are in a state of overwhelm, and the inner resource can become buried.

So it is an important practice for life that we regularly recharge our inner resource. You can do this in outer ways, by taking some action that helps you feel calm and at ease. Maybe one of these is similar to your outer practices of recharging your inner resource:

• a walk on the beach
• a long deep warm bath by candlelight with soft music playing
• a holiday in cabin away from modern technology with a good book
• immersing in a novel
• losing track of time painting a picture
• going on retreat
• making music with friends.

Your favourite outer practices of recharge can also help you to find that inner place of well-being and calm. Think about that thing you do to recharge as if you are imagining it happening right now. As you do let all your senses come into play. Tastes, sounds, smells, the light, what you see, and tactile sensations. Are you alone or have you brought along a favourite person or people, or animal?

Now turn attention to the feelings of well-being that are evoked. More and more let your attention dwell in the feelings in your body of being at ease, secure, calm, the feelings of well-being. Notice as much about these feelings in the body as you can, as you allow the images to recede.

In this way you can make an inner practice of recharge. This can be done at any time and the more you do it the more clear the path to it will become. Wake up and practice it. Practice it while having lunch. On the bus. At the traffic lights. While waiting for sleep.

The more often you visit it the more clear the pathway to it becomes and the shorter the pathway to it becomes until it is simply turning attention towards it and it is there, always.

Change

Sometimes we crave a change, to get away somewhere, to get a new job, to live somewhere different. Other times we wake up to a realisation that our current habits or situation are not serving us well and we seek change for that reason. Sometimes change we did not invite happens, sending us into a spin. And sometimes change just creeps up on us and one day we realise that change has happened. It might be that such a realisation invites further change.

Of course, one thing is certain. Change will always happen. Even when we are stuck in a rut, it became a rut only because things were changing and perhaps we did not adjust to take account of those changes.

Today I am pondering the restlessness and desire for change that comes upon us.

The season changes. Warm weather gives way to cool. When the winter season began, did you find yourself in the clothing shop buying a new outfit? Why was that? Nothing to wear, but what about all those clothes from previous seasons? What was really driving it? Perhaps you perceive that the clothes from last winter are old-fashioned, or shabby. So how did that make you feel? What belief is underlying it?

What is a desire for change but a desire to fix that which feels broken, or to fill that which feels empty? Like the change that is yearned in these statements.

• I feel stiffness and pain and I want to be pain free.
• I am stressed and anxious and I want to relax.
• I need to lose weight and become fit.
• I am lonely and need to meet new people.

Perhaps it was a desire for change like this that first brought you to yoga.

Take a moment and jot down the things that you want to change .... and then sit a while and ask the question, if this change had already come to pass, how would I feel? Find the feeling in your body. Is there still a yearning or is it completely fulfilled?

This is a process that might help you to flush out your Heartfelt Desire, which we also sometimes call the deepest driving desire, Life's Purpose, or Heartfelt Mission. the Heartfelt Desire is like a beacon to guide us home to our inherent wholeness, where nothing feels broken, nothing needs to be fixed, and which is always full and fulfilled.

To close, you might wish to reflect upon the following words of Jean Klein. Jean Klein was a spiritual teacher and mentor to Dr Richard Miller, founder of iRest® Yoga Nidra. He said:

"Any desire is a search for Perfect Bliss. This perfect bliss is is part of the nature of the Self, therefore all desire is a desire for the Self."