Enlighten Me

There’s something wrong with the tube light.
It’s flickering on and off, on and off.

You might say that’s better than when it was off all the time
and I was crashing about in the dark and banging into things.
So much suffering.

Then it came on and everything was so obvious …
for some timeless moments …
before it went off again.

But there was a faint halo left
so I couldn’t forget its brilliance,
and I yearn for that light.
Other timeless moments have happened along the way.
Suddenly being in the light
and then the darkness closing round,
forgetting, almost.

Then it started this flickering business.
This strobing effect is really quite distracting.
It’s driving me mad.
Sometimes I feel drunk,
sometimes nauseous,
sometimes dizzy
with all this on again, off again
state of affairs.

But now I see there’s nothing wrong with the light.
It’s on all the time, but I can’t keep my eyes open.

Time to wake up darling. You’re dreaming.

© Tina Shettigara September 2018

Note: I am not a fan of the term enlightenment. Awakening is more appropriate. However the metaphor of a flickering light describes so well this phase of unstable Awareness that is also coming and going, that I couldn't resist using the term in the title.
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Dan Flavin "monument to V. Tatlin" National Gallery of Australia
Sculpture of fluorescent tubes
Photo credit: https://artsearch.nga.gov.au/Detail.cfm?IRN=111377